why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
