It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
