I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
