We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
