What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
