Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
