Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
