Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
