How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
