I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
