So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
