The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
