I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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