you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
