I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
