when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
