I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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