Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
