So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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