I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
