Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
