shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
