just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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