are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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