I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
