Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize