Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
