we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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