I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize