Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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