Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
