We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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