i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
