theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
