Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
