i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
