The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You need a sexual gate keeper
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
