i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
