Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I look better un-naked...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
