so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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