i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
