Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
