No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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