He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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