Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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