We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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