ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize