I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
