Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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