we have pet lesbian snakes
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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