you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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