i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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