Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
