Don't make out with my wife yet
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize