dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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