you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
