I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
