just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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