This is not my ceiling
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
