When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
