Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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