He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
