too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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