mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
