Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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