The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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