After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
