So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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