Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
