It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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