Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
