Cold hands, warm shart.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
