I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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