i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
