Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
