I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize