tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
