Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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