I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
